1. |
The Flaw
03:14
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THE ADMIRAL
I got the swag of a 4 star admiral
I got the power of an uncaged animal
I got the mind of a certified genius
Oh, and one more thing, yo:
I got a tiny penis
Yeah I got the wealth, mad ducats in my pocket
But I ain't got a rocket, fit my cock in a locket
I can pop and lock it with the best of the best
You wanted the biggest, well I'm the rest
DTM
Yeah I defy gravity
In my kitchen mixing up perfect martinis
If I spit on a canvas it's a masterpiece
So please stop laughing at my wrinklebeast
I'm an intergalactic ambassador
And a quadruple back flipping matador
THE ADMIRAL
And I'm a triple cartwheeling luchador
DTM
But I got a mini Tennessee throat warmer
THE ADMIRAL
I enrich the flour
DTM
I slice the bread
THE ADMIRAL
But it ain't my fault
BLANG!?
If you can't find my head
THE ADMIRAL
I made the All-Star game when I was a rookie
DTM
But the femmes always fleeing from my zipper Wookie
I was the voice who was speaking to Joan of Ark
I'm the reason we lost Amelia Earhart
With a spitwad I blew up the Death Star
But my piece can't even make your pussy part
My superskills saved Apollo 13
And I stole Coke's secret recipe
I even taught Mike Tyson how to read
But that was all harder than my wang can be
THE ADMIRAL
Yo I arm wrestled Jesus and I won the title
And I shot down the UFO that crashed at Roswell
I can turn invisible, escape from Alcatraz
But my junk is the opposite of critical mass
If you're hurting for a squirtin'
Sorry got a gherkin,
It ain't Mr. Happy it's Mr. Disturbing
Went back in time, saved MLK and Kennedy
But not Honest Abe due to Johnson jealously
DTM
I won Iron Chef
THE ADMIRAL
Spy 006
DTM
When it comes to underwear
I wear
BLANG!?
Double O Dicks
DTM
Play skin flute and the prickolo
THE ADMIRAL
But I'm last chair in the dick orchestra
My El Presidente ain't mas grande
Need a microscope to see my poke
My dong aint' long or big or strong
My boner is a loner, it's a wee little schlong
DTM
Wish my dick was a sledgehammer
But I'm the lover equivalent of "Chutes & Ladders"
You'd better hide your wives and hide your daughters
I'll give them Post-Orgasmic Stress Disorder
THE ADMIRAL
Ain't got a knob, it's more like a nib
My dick's disappointed more than Mr. Pibb
My baby maker's so tired and weary
It's so damn small it's just a theory
DTM
Before I get 'em home I call my dick The Duke
But when we're all alone that's when I get rebuked
"Can't go so far to call yourself a man,
You've got a Matchbox car for a battering ram."
BLANG!?
Ants
(Got bigger dicks)
Paramecium
(Got bigger dicks)
Turtles
(Got bigger dicks)
Girls
(Got bigger dicks)
Moonrocks
(Got bigger dicks)
8-track cassettes
(Got bigger dicks)
Bunnies
(Got bigger dicks)
Even dudes who got their dicks cut off!
(Got bigger dicks)
Mugs
(Got bigger dicks)
Mice
(Got bigger dicks)
AC adaptors
(Got bigger dicks)
Scones
(Got bigger dicks)
Scissors
(Got bigger dicks)
Crackers
(Got bigger dicks)
Crayons
(Got bigger dicks)
Ken dolls
(Got bigger dicks)
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2. |
Ren Faire Girles
04:17
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THE ADMIRAL
I see the ladies in the chain mail
Bra
Wearing nothing underneath
Aw
Chastity belt got my tongue tied
Nothing hotter than a pussy that's fortified
I got a 2 handed long sword in my pants
All the ladies in the corsets, let me see you hands
Come with me, have a flagon of mead
We're gonna bone through Elizabethan history
BLANG!?
Ladies, unlace that blouse
Need a peek underneath to dishonor your house!
DTM
Whatchu know about sprites and fairies?
The steampunk chicks with the brass canary
Walkin' round town with a parasol
She killed more cock than an aerosol
Lace it up, pull the corset tight
Make that cleavage plump up right
I've got half a mind to lay down with you
And the other half thinks I should sex you, too
THE ADMIRAL
You can be my Queen, or my dainty princess
As long as you're the key to my sexual excess
Goddamn the Ren Faire Girles got me crazy
Running round the tourney ground
All frilly and lacy
Driving me wild the way they toss that axe
But I knew it was love when I saw that ass
Get down on my knees and beg
Get her hotter than a fresh smoked turkey leg
BLANG!?
I don't need me a model or a movie star
Don't need me girl with a fancy car
Just give me a lady with a scimitar
Who spends her weekends as a centaur
I like 'em funny and I like 'em cute
But I like them more when they play the lute
So expand your mind and rock your world
To the life changing hotness of the Ren Faire Girles
DTM
See the girls in the chainmail thongs
Bellydancing in the streets for ya'l
Hair whipping, and I can't resist
Those fine-assed ladies with the juicy tits
Red lips fully primed to kiss
Her parents never minded this
"We'll just leave her at the Renaissance Faire,
She'll never get in any trouble there."
BLANG!?
But soon as mom and dad turn around
The skirt goes up and the shirt comes down
THE ADMIRAL
Yo meet me in the dungeon, we'll have ourselves a good
Put me in the rack and attack me it'll be sublime
Ooh girl, love the way you rock a dagger
Any chance I'm getting my sword in your scabbard?
I'll be your knight in shining armor
Don't matter if you're a wench or a crofter's daughter
I'm a charmer, the High Cleric of Caressing,
Got a Plus-2 when it comes to undressing
DTM
Cotton, leather, and lace; oh, my!
She's got a bandolier and a flask of wine
The dirt of the road is the dust on her boots
And she ain't too proud to follow manly pursuits
There's a knife in her hair, and some polished darts
With a gaze she can pierce through the strongest hearts
Hid a gun in her belt but the bastard sword
Tell ya boys: beware of a just reward
BLANG!?
Don't need me an heiress or a socialite
I don't want me a girl needs her hair did right
Just give me a woman with her doublet tight
Who spends her weekend as a water sprite
I like them naughty and I like 'em smart
But I like them more when they play the harp
So expand your mind and rock your world
To the life changing hotness of the Ren Faire Girles
Unleash your fantasy beast
DTM
Let's go for a ride
To a place back in time
Where the ladies were fine (where the ladies were fine)
Comin' at you with this
Renaissance love and bliss
Girls too cute to dismiss (too cute to dismiss)
Repeat over Chorus
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3. |
Ooh Da Lolly (Pt. 2)
02:44
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BLANG!?
Ooh Da Lolly, we likes to party,
You bring the keggers and we bring the hotties!
THE ADMIRAL
Take a chance on the fat man in short pants
Ain't much to look at but I got a knack for romance
Take you to a slow dance with one of those slow jamz,
Oops! I'm sorry, lost control of my hands ma'am
I ain't got class, ain't got flavor
But I got some words of wisdom for you to savor
You got a fly girl and you wanna make her yours
Just drops your drawers, gauge her applause
If you get a standing "O" then it's good to go,
But if you get a slow clap then no Beast with 2 Backs for you
I know it's hard for a single guy to get laid,
But it's even harder for a white rapper to get paid
I'm here to bring about a natural disaster
DTM on my back we're like Master Blaster
2 men enter and 1 man leaves,
But that one man is me so don't get no ideas!
BLANG!?
Ooh Da Lolly, we likes to party,
You bring the keggers and we bring the hotties!
DTM
<Boom> A funktastrophe!
While my rhyme's swinging lazy through the canopy
This party's so big its a celebrity
And my crew's so tough them call it Master Chief
Mowk be nimble, DTM be quick
Where the pimps and the players with their walking sticks?
All my songs so fresh they call it Funky Fried
Whether bumpin' through the city or the countryside
I told you, wanted to put it nicely:
That wardrobe you brought was a little Vanilla Icely
I wouldn't have to truly put it so precisely
If your girlfriend wasn't here to wanna truly entice me
Is it because we're up on the scene here
Or is it because they measure our talent in leap years?
I've got fine chicks from the Antebellum
On my Frisbee golf discs filling out my quorum
BLANG!?
Ooh Da Lolly, we likes to party,
You bring the keggers and we bring the hotties!
DTM
Ooh, look at this here party
Later on we gon' kick it at the after party
Put the bump and the grind
Up on all the shorties
Make the foundation shake
Til we break for morning
THE ADMIRAL
I'm-a kick it on home with that one
Gonna break my back bone with that one
She's so gosh darn attractive
Makes me seem to lose my
BLANG!?
CONTROL!!!
Ooh Da Lolly, we likes to party,
You bring the keggers and we bring the hotties!
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4. |
Time Pimps The First
00:18
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5. |
Dancetron 5000
04:48
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DTM
The year is 1981. Dr. Stephen Hawking is widely regarded as the smartest man in the world. What is less known is his love of funky footwork. Looking for an outlet to combine his loves of particle physics, cosmology, and street dancing, Dr. Hawking creates the Dancetron 5000 (5000...) a robot designed to study black holes and win dance battles. Programmed for breakthroughs in both physics and ethnochoreology, Dancetron would be the first android ever to do the "Bankhead Bounce," the "Cat Daddy" and "Strobing." He would also be capable of cosmologically inspired moves, such as the "Electric Fermian," the "Gamma Ray Emitter," and the "Gravitational Hamiltonian." Dancetron's mission was to find that most funky of particles: the Higgs-Boson. But Dancetron would rather dance....
DANCETRON
My name is Dancetron (5000...)
I have come to party
Top Rock and Down Rock
Freezes and Power Moves
Teach you how to Dougie and
Electric Boogaloo
My name is Dancetron (5000...)
I have come to get funky
Angular Momentum and Maxwell's Equation
Will blow your mind with funktastic jubilation
DTM
Dr. Hawking is traveling to present his machine at Columbia University and gather support to send Dancetron 5000 (5000...) into space to study the nearest black hole. As they pass through Brooklyn, however, Dancetron hears the beats of a local ghetto-blaster. He blows a fuse desiring to bust a move, and he breaks out of his scientific caravan. Knowing neither fear, nor pride, Dancetron meets the B-boys on their own turf: Popping in Brooklyn, Locking in the Bronx, Queens had never seen such a Bounce. He broke Manhattan with his Breaking, and Staten Island was stunned by his Techtonic. Dr. Hawking searched madly for his beloved robot, he finally found him Memphis Juking in Times Square. He threatened to remove Dancetron's choreographic programming, and Dancetron went mad with rage...
DANCETRON
My name is Dancetron (5000...)
I have come to destroy you
Without my Krumping there is nothing to live for
Set self destruct sequence on the dance floor
My name is Dancetron (5000...)
I have to annihilate
Photons and Neutrons have no enticement
But Murder, Death, Kill gives me great excitement
DTM
Ignoring Isaac Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics, Dancetron started killing every human around him with his lasers, x-rays and gamma emitters. Driven to distraction with grief Dr. Hawking collected his friends, leading scientists in their fields, to form the Quantum Coalition. Cosmologist Carl Sagan, ranged weapons expert. Physicist Leonard Susskind, demolitions. Roboticist Joseph F Engelberger, communications specialist. Mathematician Robert Penrose, the plucky comic relief. Dr. Hawking lead the team, in addition to hand-to-hand combat proficiency. They met Dancetron in battle on the plains of Nebraska, with Susskind injured in the ensuing chaos. While Susskind would vow vengeance on Hawking and his machine, the Coalition carried the bloody day. Dancetron was sent into space, having been wiped of all dance moves, or was he...
DANCETRON
My name is Dancetron (5000...)
Floating through space
Collecting evidence of Black Hole Elasticity
To prove the Theory of General Relativity
My name is Dancetron (5000...)
Soaring through the universe
With infinity before me and the great beyond
I can Galaxy Dance til the break of dawn...
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6. |
Galaxy Dance
03:22
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THE ADMIRAL
Awwww yeah... UGH!
Ladies in the club, get your ass off the floor,
Cuz this here ain't your domain no more
And no I'm not trying to cause a schism
This is for the fellas ain't got the rhythm
This is a new dance
Use in any circumstance
Take a chance and then get enhanced
You might find romance
In the wide expanse
Of my mind blowing moves
BLANG!?
It's a mind blowing groove!
THE ADMIRAL
Like any dance, this dance has a rule
And that one rule is there are no rules
You can do what you want!
DTM
I can do what I want?
THE ADMIRAL
Anything that you want!
DTM
Anything that I want?
THE ADMIRAL
You can do the Watusi, you can do the Bird
You can do the Charleston, you can do the Worm
You can do the Running Man all across the land
You can do what you want: it's the Galaxy Dance!
BLANG!?
Throw your hands in the air, kick your legs to the side
You can bounce to the left, you can bounce to the right
Do the Galaxy Dance
DO THE GALAXY DANCE!
You can fingersnap or you can handclap
Bob your head to the right, bob your head to the left
Do the Galaxy Dance
DO THE GALAXY DANCE!
G-A-L-A-X-Y dance, dance, DANCE!
DTM
Ladies, you'd best to come on back
This here dance floor's looking stacked
We pinky-swear we won't attack
But don't act surprised when your butt get smacked
Kick my shoes off while I bust my moves
BLANG!?
Look at those funky moves
Kicking to a funky groove
DTM
Look up on the floor
Its a bird
Its a plane
THE ADMIRAL
Oh, shit yeah!
DTM:
Its Dan the Man
You're cool as ice and hot as flame
Even if I get burned I can't complain
See us gliding slowly 'cross the floor
Bounce from side to side
Hopping on a dance train
TryIng to stay alive
BLANG!?
Throw your hands in the air, kick your legs to the side
You can bounce to the left, you can bounce to the right
Do the Galaxy Dance
DO THE GALAXY DANCE!
You can fingersnap or you can handclap
Bob your head to the right, bob your head to the left
Do the Galaxy Dance
DO THE GALAXY DANCE!
G-A-L-A-X-Y dance, dance, DANCE!
THE ADMIRAL
All the ladies in the club with some bub
In they cup say "Hell yeah"
BLANG!?
Hell yeah!
DTM
All the fellas in the club who can't
Get enough say "Hell yeah"
BLANG!?
Hell yeah!
THE ADMIRAL
Everybody in the club who just
Got to move say "Hell yeah"
BLANG!?
Hell yeah!
DTM
Everybody who just said "Hell Yeah"
Say "Hell Yeah!"
BLANG!?
Hell yeah!
At this point in the song, there is some spelling, some repeating, and some general good times.
THE ADMIRAL
So get in line all you boys and girls
For the new dance craze that's sweeping the world
There ain't no guest list
Ain't no dress code
Funk so hot heads gonna explode
Shake it hard, shake it fast
The Galaxy Dance is unsurpassed
So shake it slow and shake it sweet
The Galaxy Dance, it can't be beat!
DTM
Look at those ladies going by
They're in the dictionary next to "Staying Fly"
I like my breasts with a side of thighs
That's finger-licking good
And you can't deny it
You're hotter than summer in the city
I can tell by the way you move you get busy
Forward, backward, fast or slow
I've got twice the entendre of Romeo
BLANG!?
Throw your hands in the air, kick your legs to the side
You can bounce to the left, you can bounce to the right
Do the Galaxy Dance
DO THE GALAXY DANCE!
You can fingersnap or you can handclap
Bob your head to the right, bob your head to the left
Do the Galaxy Dance
DO THE GALAXY DANCE!
G-A-L-A-X-Y dance, dance, DANCE!
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7. |
BLANG!?
03:25
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THE ADMIRAL
I eat filet for breakfast, caviar for brunch
I buy endangered animals
And I eat 'em for lunch
Got a panda hat, Komodo dragon slacks
And my track jacket's made out of coelacanth
Cuz I'm richer than Richie Rich
Got cash coming out of every orifice
I piss platinum and I shit gold
I'm so BLANG you can put that in bold
DTM
And italics
THE ADMIRAL
Conspicuous consumption without a lick of gumption
My wallet's so fat it could use liposuction
Had a little spare change so I had my bones replaced
With adamantium laced space rocks from outer space
I got a Money Pit like Scrooge McDuck
And I cloned a dinosaur cuz I don't give a fuck
Bill Gates, ha! He ain't got nothing to say
I buy and sell people like him every day
My vacuum's got spinners,
My toaster got chains
My fanny pack all pimped out
Cuz we are
BLANG!?
So Blang, Blang, Blang...
THE ADMIRAL
My dog drives an Escalade,
And my shoesget parked valet
And my life is so damn great
BLANG!?
So Blang, Blang, Blang...
THE ADMIRAL
My boxers are velvet,
My portrait's a Monet
My shopping bags are crystal
BLANG!?
So Blang, Blang, Blang...
THE ADMIRAL
My carpet is saffron,
My barbeque got a grill
My life is so perfect
BLANG!?
So Blaaaaaaang...
DTM
My bottled water is the tears of children
And my Gucci lawnshears put me back a million
There's Versace toilet paper
And a Coach refridgerator
Dolce & Gabana custom made this defibrillator
I spend spare days chilling at Camp David
Eat my food off of plates that's commemorative
Launch my Bentley spaceship, I accelerated
To the third moon of Neptune, and celebrated
I'm the Don Corleone of Dom Perignon
And my parties stay hearty from dusk to dawn
All my girlfriends are from the Amazon
Hired my bodyguards from the Decepticons
I'm an honest man
I'm a modest man
Sent the people of America a Lobstergram
I'm a proper man
I'm a gentleman
So I bought the solar system on installment plan
My contacts are sapphire
My zippers are gold
My birdhouse got a penthouse
Cuz we are
BLANG!?
So Blang, Blang, Blang...
DTM
My lampshade is truffles
My napkins are Grants
My dishsoap is stem cells
Cuz we are
BLANG!?
So Blang, Blang, Blang...
DTM
My doorstops are iPads
My flashlight is fusion
My peanuts are cashews
Cuz we are
BLANG!?
So Blaaaaaaang...
DTM
My gravel is moonrocks
My blood is champagne
My chaffeur's Warren Buffett
Cuz we are
BLANG!?
So Blaaaaaaang...
THE ADMIRAL
My pliers are garnet,
My hair plugs are silk
My pocket watch is paladium
Cuz we are
BLANG!?
So Blang, Blang, Blang...
DTM
My ballsack is cashmere
My staples are chrome
My syrup is amber
Cuz we are
BLANG!?
So Blang, Blang, Blang...
THE ADMIRAL
My toilet paper is satin
My Etch-A-Sketch is HD
My Wheat Thins are Wheat Thicks
BLANG!?
So Blang, Blang, Blang...
DTM
My Reynold's Wrap is rhodium
Got a Cinnabon in my house
My toothpicks are rubies
BLANG!?
So Blaaaaaaang...
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8. |
Time Pimps The Second
00:11
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9. |
A Day Like Any Other
03:20
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BLANG!?
This goes out to the Chicago Ex-Burbs:
Elgin, Aurora, Joliet, Barrington, Homewood-Flossmore, Highland Park, Lake Forest, Naperville, Waukeegan!
DTM
First thing I wake up and I grind my beans
I like my coffee fresh, that's when the flavor has peaked
I keep it flossing and clean with my Listerine
Then I feed my two pussies, if you know what I mean
THE ADMIRAL
Head to the Walgreens to grab a paper
But they're out of Sun-Times so I grab a Reader
Pop out my 7 Day and hop on a bus
Gotta keep my headphones on so I'm
Not disturbed by the homeless
DTM
I put my nametag on and I drive myself to work
Health, dental, and vision are just part of my perks
I go to meetings and then I take a timely lunch
Go home for cleaning as I wash dishes grimed from brunch
THE ADMIRAL
When I get home, yo, I take off my vest
I turn my television on to see what TiVo suggests
Thumbs down a Lifetime Original Movie
"Mother May I Sleep With Danger?"
No it ain't groovy!
BLANG!?
Investments, and taxes, and tollways, and party platters
Toothpaste, and smoke breaks, and heartaches, and neighbor's banter
Livestrongs, and photons, and Groupons, and puppy faces
Wi-Fi, and drive-bys, and cow pies, and getting braces
DTM
Baby, our new NetFlix came in the mail
It's got classic Kathy Bates: Fried Green Tomatoes
We can pop it in to watch while we eat a bite
Then I brush my teeth and gargle 'fore I call it a night
THE ADMIRAL
Check my Facebook and I update my status
"Eating burgers with the fam at home is the baddest"
Throw some laundry in the dryer and I open a book
Cuz I got 45 minutes for my clothing to cook
DTM
As I drift off to sleep I play on my iPhone
DragonVale, Battle Nations, and Movie Tycoon
I turn off the light and turn on the fan
I'll see you when I return from Sleepyland
THE ADMIRAL
Staying up late, I got tomorrow off
So as the wife sleeps, the PS3 comes on
Pour myself a ginger ale and I stream some flicks
Fall asleep to the sounds of "Batman Begins"
BLANG!?
Book clubs, and dog cubs, and car dubs, and Trading Spaces
Meat rubs, and green shrubs, and golf clubs, and rounding bases
Strip malls, and footballs, and duck calls, and farmer's markets
Weed whacks, and backpacks, and sales racks, and Empire Carpets
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10. |
Teddy
02:55
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BLANG!?
Theodore Roosevelt killed a bear with a single punch
Theodore Roosevelt rode a moose just to get his mail
Theodore Roosevelt owned a lion for a kitty-cat
Theodore Roosevelt President of the United States!
DTM
What this world needs is a hero like Teddy
Whose Rough Riders took down foes aplenty
He shot up Spaniards and shot down wolves
He could shoot you two times in a single pull
When he fought back against the Martian invaders
He used their King's dick as his rolling papers
Have you heard about how the West was won?
That was Teddy Roosevelt's vacation, son
When he went to Panama and dug the canal
And set aside the nation's first memorial
Bird sanctuary and nature preserves
So there'd be something left after he ate dessert
Won a Noble Peace Prize his his voice
Of the ladies he could have his choice
But there was no time left for fooling around
When there was ass-kicking for throwing down
BLANG!?
Theodore Roosevelt gave a speech with a bullet in his heart
Theodore Roosevelt, Rough Rider before DMX
Theodore Roosevelt: jujitsu. Like a fat Bruce Lee
Theodore Roosevelt President of the United States
THE ADMIRAL
Speak softly, carry a big stick
Teddy walking tall lugging around that big dick
Look at them glasses the better to shoot you with
Look at them fists, the better to govern with
He beat Chuck Norris in a roundhouse kicking fight match
And then he beat Godzilla with his boomerang mustache
Bully! Get the president a drink
Make no sudden moves, don't even blink
Cuz man is the world's most dangerous game
And Teddy's on the hunt again
He stuffed a sasquatch, bagged a bigfoot
Won the gold in Olympic shotput
Invented RISK, formed Hall & Oates
Beat William Jennings Bryant by 2 million votes!
BLANG!?
Theodore Roosevelt, predator versus Predators
Theodore Roosevelt mountaineer. He ate a cougar raw
Theodore Roosevelt direct quote: "I have come over to see when you want to begin the killing."
Theodore Roosevelt President of the United States!
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11. |
Damn Girl
03:25
|
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THE ADMIRAL
Damn girl, you know I love you. You're all I ever wanted. You're all I ever needed. You're the love of my life. But sometimes, I got to admit, my love get tested. Sometimes you frustrate me. Specifically during that 4 to 7 day stretch every month when your uterine lining sloughs away, and your hormones get crazy. I mean, I'm inclined to do whatever you want, just so I don't get yelled at. I don't like getting yelled at. I hate it when you're out of commission.
DTM
Damn, girl. Its your little friend: my least favorite euphemism
You want me to come home and do the dishes?
I'll do anything the She-Hulk wishes:
Fold the laundry, feed the cats, clean kitty litter with my hands
Ovaries on fire! Stop, drop, and roll
What we need up in here is Pussy Control
To break it on down for the boys and girls
Every twenty eight days all around the world
The tides get high and the moon get full
Your girl becomes a she-werewolf!
BLANG!?
Damn, girl. Whatchu doing to me?
Got me all bundled up while I'm walking the streets
Damn, girl. Whatchu doing to me?
Driving up and down town, running errands for free
Damn, girl. Whatchu doing to me?
I'm all up in a mess, in a catastrophe
Damn, girl. Whatchu doing to me?
You took my stress level up to another degree
THE ADMIRAL
Hard to brave when you're riding the red wave
Don't want to misbehave so I'll be your slave
I'll mow the lawn and I'll make the bed
I'll order a pizza, no, you want me to cook it instead?
That's fine, that's cool. I'll do whatever you want
I'll rub your feet, we can even visit your aunt
So here's the remote, you're in control
Of course you can have the last egg roll
Let me diagram it for the boys and girls
Every 28 days all over the world
When the moon gets big and eclipses the sun:
There's nowhere to hide. There's nowhere to run.
BLANG!?
Damn, girl. Whatchu doing to me?
Got me all bundled up while I'm walking the streets
Damn, girl. Whatchu doing to me?
Driving up and down town, running errands for free
Damn, girl. Whatchu doing to me?
I'm all up in a mess, in a catastrophe
Damn, girl. Whatchu doing to me?
You took my stress level up to another degree
DTM
Damn, girl. You're so amazing. I love your mind. I love your body. I love your soul. And if you could just put down that chainsaw for one minute, I'm sure we could talk things over. Have I told you today that your hair looks nice? Ooh! Are those new shoes?
BLANG!?
Damn, girl. Whatchu doing to me?
Got me all bundled up while I'm walking the streets
Damn, girl. Whatchu doing to me?
Driving up and down town, running errands for free
Damn, girl. Whatchu doing to me?
I'm all up in a mess, in a catastrophe
Damn, girl. Whatchu doing to me?
You took my stress level up to another degree
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12. |
Time Pimps The Third
00:23
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13. |
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BLANG!?
We want them hoes, so give 'em to us
We're time pimp pros, our El Dorado
Drives soft and low on thirty inches
We need them hoes, and tricks and bitches
DTM
I'm Crunk Daddy Long Legs
Drive my Caddy straight through time
For the bitches that are on my list
Get in my car Cleopatra, Mae West, Princess Leia. Only the best!
I'll take you to a new time and place
And keep 100%
Bitch, don't act up!
BLANG!?
We want them hoes, so give 'em to us
We're time pimp pros, our El Dorado
Drives soft and low on thirty inches
We need them hoes, and tricks and bitches
THE ADMIRAL
Now I am the Admiral, bumpin' through time
I got historical bitches on my pimpin' line
I got some Nefertiti, some Salome
Some Berenice of Cilicia
I'm slapping chicken heads in the ancient past
So in the future I can sell that ass
Oh yes, don't you know
That Guinevere was quite the ho
Got Calamity Jane and Sappho
And Mother Teresa and Florence Bascom
Marie Antoinette, she gets them wet
And Bonnie sans Clyde is a hell of a ride!
Got 2 mad scientists make a time machine,
But here's something they could not foresee
They didn't have the cash to pay
For the hoes they bought to celebrate
DTM
So the pimps swoop in, fin to regulate,
What did the five fingers say to the face?
Slap!
Two physicists fell to the ground
And we took the time machine we found
THE ADMIRAL
So I'll pack our canes and the bell bottom pants
And grab our furs and the wide brim hats
Set the coordinates, hit the ignition
Time for a historical ho finding mission
DTM
Its a pull of the lever and off we go
Cadillac bumping around like a rodeo
Where we're headed? We don't know
We lost the instruction manual
BLANG!?
We want them hoes, so give 'em to us
We're time pimp pros, our El Dorado
Drives soft and low on thirty inches
We need them hoes, and tricks and bitches
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BLANG!? Chicago, Illinois
Forged under the dark tendrils of Mount Destiny, bursting forth from the fires of Infinity, and soaring through the galaxy
at the speed of light comes...
BLANG!?
DTM and The Admiral, from their world wide headquarters at the Beat Delicatessen, are in the business of crafting fat beats, hot rhymes, and pickled mothafuckin' funk.
... more
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