BLANG!?
This goes out to the Chicago Ex-Burbs:
Elgin, Aurora, Joliet, Barrington, Homewood-Flossmore, Highland Park, Lake Forest, Naperville, Waukeegan!

DTM
First thing I wake up and I grind my beans
I like my coffee fresh, that's when the flavor has peaked
I keep it flossing and clean with my Listerine
Then I feed my two pussies, if you know what I mean

THE ADMIRAL
Head to the Walgreens to grab a paper
But they're out of Sun-Times so I grab a Reader
Pop out my 7 Day and hop on a bus
Gotta keep my headphones on so I'm
Not disturbed by the homeless

DTM
I put my nametag on and I drive myself to work
Health, dental, and vision are just part of my perks
I go to meetings and then I take a timely lunch
Go home for cleaning as I wash dishes grimed from brunch

THE ADMIRAL
When I get home, yo, I take off my vest
I turn my television on to see what TiVo suggests
Thumbs down a Lifetime Original Movie
"Mother May I Sleep With Danger?"
No it ain't groovy!

BLANG!?
Investments, and taxes, and tollways, and party platters
Toothpaste, and smoke breaks, and heartaches, and neighbor's banter
Livestrongs, and photons, and Groupons, and puppy faces
Wi-Fi, and drive-bys, and cow pies, and getting braces

DTM
Baby, our new NetFlix came in the mail
It's got classic Kathy Bates: Fried Green Tomatoes
We can pop it in to watch while we eat a bite
Then I brush my teeth and gargle 'fore I call it a night

THE ADMIRAL
Check my Facebook and I update my status
"Eating burgers with the fam at home is the baddest"
Throw some laundry in the dryer and I open a book
Cuz I got 45 minutes for my clothing to cook

DTM
As I drift off to sleep I play on my iPhone
DragonVale, Battle Nations, and Movie Tycoon
I turn off the light and turn on the fan
I'll see you when I return from Sleepyland

THE ADMIRAL
Staying up late, I got tomorrow off
So as the wife sleeps, the PS3 comes on
Pour myself a ginger ale and I stream some flicks
Fall asleep to the sounds of "Batman Begins"

BLANG!?
Book clubs, and dog cubs, and car dubs, and Trading Spaces
Meat rubs, and green shrubs, and golf clubs, and rounding bases
Strip malls, and footballs, and duck calls, and farmer's markets
Weed whacks, and backpacks, and sales racks, and Empire Carpets