THE ADMIRAL
I see the ladies in the chain mail
Bra
Wearing nothing underneath
Aw
Chastity belt got my tongue tied
Nothing hotter than a pussy that's fortified

I got a 2 handed long sword in my pants
All the ladies in the corsets, let me see you hands
Come with me, have a flagon of mead
We're gonna bone through Elizabethan history

BLANG!?
Ladies, unlace that blouse
Need a peek underneath to dishonor your house!

DTM
Whatchu know about sprites and fairies?
The steampunk chicks with the brass canary
Walkin' round town with a parasol
She killed more cock than an aerosol

Lace it up, pull the corset tight
Make that cleavage plump up right
I've got half a mind to lay down with you
And the other half thinks I should sex you, too

THE ADMIRAL
You can be my Queen, or my dainty princess
As long as you're the key to my sexual excess
Goddamn the Ren Faire Girles got me crazy
Running round the tourney ground
All frilly and lacy
Driving me wild the way they toss that axe
But I knew it was love when I saw that ass
Get down on my knees and beg
Get her hotter than a fresh smoked turkey leg

BLANG!?
I don't need me a model or a movie star
Don't need me girl with a fancy car
Just give me a lady with a scimitar
Who spends her weekends as a centaur
I like 'em funny and I like 'em cute
But I like them more when they play the lute
So expand your mind and rock your world
To the life changing hotness of the Ren Faire Girles

DTM
See the girls in the chainmail thongs
Bellydancing in the streets for ya'l
Hair whipping, and I can't resist
Those fine-assed ladies with the juicy tits

Red lips fully primed to kiss
Her parents never minded this
"We'll just leave her at the Renaissance Faire,
She'll never get in any trouble there."

BLANG!?
But soon as mom and dad turn around
The skirt goes up and the shirt comes down

THE ADMIRAL
Yo meet me in the dungeon, we'll have ourselves a good
Put me in the rack and attack me it'll be sublime
Ooh girl, love the way you rock a dagger
Any chance I'm getting my sword in your scabbard?
I'll be your knight in shining armor
Don't matter if you're a wench or a crofter's daughter
I'm a charmer, the High Cleric of Caressing,
Got a Plus-2 when it comes to undressing

DTM
Cotton, leather, and lace; oh, my!
She's got a bandolier and a flask of wine
The dirt of the road is the dust on her boots
And she ain't too proud to follow manly pursuits

There's a knife in her hair, and some polished darts
With a gaze she can pierce through the strongest hearts
Hid a gun in her belt but the bastard sword
Tell ya boys: beware of a just reward

BLANG!?
Don't need me an heiress or a socialite
I don't want me a girl needs her hair did right
Just give me a woman with her doublet tight
Who spends her weekend as a water sprite
I like them naughty and I like 'em smart
But I like them more when they play the harp
So expand your mind and rock your world
To the life changing hotness of the Ren Faire Girles

Unleash your fantasy beast

DTM
Let's go for a ride
To a place back in time
Where the ladies were fine (where the ladies were fine)
Comin' at you with this
Renaissance love and bliss
Girls too cute to dismiss (too cute to dismiss)

Repeat over Chorus