BLANG!?
Theodore Roosevelt killed a bear with a single punch
Theodore Roosevelt rode a moose just to get his mail
Theodore Roosevelt owned a lion for a kitty-cat
Theodore Roosevelt President of the United States!

DTM
What this world needs is a hero like Teddy
Whose Rough Riders took down foes aplenty
He shot up Spaniards and shot down wolves
He could shoot you two times in a single pull
When he fought back against the Martian invaders
He used their King's dick as his rolling papers
Have you heard about how the West was won?
That was Teddy Roosevelt's vacation, son
When he went to Panama and dug the canal
And set aside the nation's first memorial
Bird sanctuary and nature preserves
So there'd be something left after he ate dessert
Won a Noble Peace Prize his his voice
Of the ladies he could have his choice
But there was no time left for fooling around
When there was ass-kicking for throwing down

BLANG!?
Theodore Roosevelt gave a speech with a bullet in his heart
Theodore Roosevelt, Rough Rider before DMX
Theodore Roosevelt: jujitsu. Like a fat Bruce Lee
Theodore Roosevelt President of the United States

THE ADMIRAL
Speak softly, carry a big stick
Teddy walking tall lugging around that big dick
Look at them glasses the better to shoot you with
Look at them fists, the better to govern with
He beat Chuck Norris in a roundhouse kicking fight match
And then he beat Godzilla with his boomerang mustache
Bully! Get the president a drink
Make no sudden moves, don't even blink
Cuz man is the world's most dangerous game
And Teddy's on the hunt again
He stuffed a sasquatch, bagged a bigfoot
Won the gold in Olympic shotput
Invented RISK, formed Hall & Oates
Beat William Jennings Bryant by 2 million votes!

BLANG!?
Theodore Roosevelt, predator versus Predators
Theodore Roosevelt mountaineer. He ate a cougar raw
Theodore Roosevelt direct quote: "I have come over to see when you want to begin the killing."
Theodore Roosevelt President of the United States!